What is Important, and What is Not

Do you ever look back at your actions and behavior and feel ashamed? Embarrassed? Mortified? Today, I do, because yesterday, I was not the kind of person that I want to be.  I wasn't even the person that I think I am. I was selfish, ungrateful and completely immature.  

While sitting on the couch with the TV remote in one hand, and ice cream in the other, I couldn't help but dwell on what I didn't have. At that very moment, it was all that mattered, and not the many blessings I've been given. I held my own self planned pity-party, if you will.

I walked into the kitchen and immediately saw this drawn on the calendar in my kitchen under the date of September 20th...

I burst into tears at the realization that tomorrow was, for my friend, going to be one of the best and worst days of her life. The feelings that I was currently experiencing couldn't hold a candle to what my friend Breanne would soon face. I was a total loser and I knew it.

Several months ago, Breanne showed up to BUNCO to tell us all that she was pregnant with her 5th child. Because of 4 previous C-sections, she knew this would be her last child. With 4 small boys at home, we all knew she wanted a girl. They soon found out that they were going to have the girl they wanted, but that this baby had a rare condition that would not be compatible with life.  She would not live past birth.

Although given the opportunity to terminate the pregnancy, she decided to carry the baby to term. She decided to endure the constant "when are you due?" and "congratulations on your pregnancy" and "what are you having?" so that she could spend every moment possible with the baby growing inside her. She not only wanted to give this child an opportunity to receive a body on earth, but to hold her and tell her thank you for choosing their family.

You may recall an LDS conference talk by President Thomas S. Monson titled "Finding Joy in the Journey." She talks about this conference talk on her blog, and how it has taught her to find the blessing in this experience. It has motivated her to endure each and every day of this pregnancy, to help her boys understand what is happening and to remind her family that families are Eternal. 

Because of this talk and with 4 cute boys whose names all begin with "J," they found it fitting to name this sweet baby "Joy" and document their journey on a blog titled "Our Journey with Joy." She is amazing and her faith is truly an inspiring. I can only describe her as the epitome of a Christ-like person. Keep a tissue handy... especially when you read the post written by her husband, which is all about his exceptional, sweet wife.

I honestly believe that I drew that heart with a "B" in it for a reason. I believe that my Heavenly Father knew that I would need a slap in face. A reminder that my life and my family are so very blessed. That we want for nothing and that my family is healthy and happy. I was immediately humbled.  I decided to catch up on recent posts on her blog, and I re-read President Monson's conference talk. In his talk, I read:

"This is our one and only chance at mortal life - here and now.  The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that amount the greatest lessons we are to learn is this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I please with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do.  Instead, find joy in the journey - now."

Yesterday, I lost sight of what was really important. Today, as my heart aches for Breanne and her family, I will focus on what is important. I will not let disappointments or selfish wants become the center of my thoughts and actions. I will remember that I have been blessed with a family who loves me, a daughter I adore and a husband who takes care of us. Today, I will be grateful.

Some who read this may know Breanne, others may not. Whoever you are, please say a prayer for her family today. They certainly need it.