Project Skinny {R4}

Lost to Date: 35.8    
Still to Lose: 29.2 lbs.

PS{R4}Update 4.27.2015 Update Overdue
This update is long over due. It's been what... 6 weeks? A lot has happened in the 6 weeks since my 10K. First and foremost, I'm down another 4 lbs. Now, that's not a lot for 6 weeks, and I know that. But I also know why & take full responsibility. More on that in a minute...

Second, I've run a 5K. Loved it! Had so much fun! So much easier than a 10K {obviously}. I beat my goal time of 33:00 minutes, which was awesome. But I realized that I have a long way to go before I'm ready for another 10K. For the next several months, I'll be completing a 5K each month, in preparation of a few 10K's in the fall. I'm confident that once I get really good at 5K's, I'll do much better at a 10K. It seems logical... right?

I'm finally starting to see and feel what everyone else has been telling me. For the past several weeks, I've received multiple many comments about how great I look. It's an awesome feeling! But for a while, I wasn't seeing it. Now, I am. I can see it in my face. I can see it in my legs when shaving. I felt when I tried on a pair of capris a size down from normal and realized I need to go down another size!

It's all feeling really, really awesome. 

But let's be honest... losing weight is definitely not a cake walk. I mean really, I should have lost double the weight in the past 6 weeks if I was doing what I should. Right? Which means there are still hurdles to cross, mountains to climb, blah blah blah. I stumbled upon THIS ARTICLE and one thing stood out to me: Sitting All Day.

I work at a desk. I rarely have a reason to get up and move around and when I'm focused, I can find myself sitting for multiple hours at a time. The article says "research finds that dedicated workouts simply can't compensate for being sedentary the rest of the time" and that "sitting for just a few hours causes your body to stop making a fat-inhibiting enzyme called lipase." That can't be good! Why would I want all the work I put in at the gym to be for nothing?

I don't. So I need to move. This week, in addition to trying to drink more water & not eat out for lunch {pack food from home}, my goal is to get up and walk around my office building 2-3 times throughout my day to keep my heart rate up and my body to keep producing "lipases". Whatever the H they are.
PS{R4}Update 3.10.2015 10K
I've lost a little bit of weight over the past few weeks. It's not as much as I would have liked, but I know without a doubt it isn't the lack of exercise. It's the food. I'm a creature of convenience, and a lover of flavor, so meal pretty and bland meals are just not my thing. Instead, I've been trying to exercise moderation with foods I love, but it's not working as well as I'd like. I need to make some serious changes.

But the thing I'm more proud of right now it the completion of my 10K. Read about here. It was a pretty big deal for me!
PS{R4}Update 2.13.2015 Weight Gain
I've gained back 2 pounds of the 3 I lost {insert mad face} and I'm feeling ridiculously frustrated. I realize that weight gain is a part of the process, but it doesn't make me any less angry. I'm eating good, I working out a lot. I'm doing more running then CrossFit so don't anyone tell me it's muscle gain. I don't want to hear that.

I'm determined not to take a pill. I'm determined not to eat pre-prepared foods. I so need this to be a lifestyle I can adopt and maintain, but sometimes, I feel like giving up. Taking the easy route. Hard is becoming too hard. 

But I've made a choice, right? This is what I need to do and how I need to it. Because today was weigh-in day and my points reset, I'm technically starting a new week. I'll keep working hard again this week and hope it will pay off...

PS{R4}Update 2.4.2015 Hold Up
Wait. Hold Up. I lost 3 pounds this week? Even after my Superbowl binge, Olive Garden and Chinese food weekend? There's seriously no way. Right?
I weighed myself 4 times on the scale and once on the WiiFit just to be certain. So, I'm pretty certain that I lost 3 pounds, but not certain it's because I did anything right. So...... what the hell?
I stopped taking birth control 3 days ago {I wanted to fully enjoy my cruise, if you know what I mean}. Could that be it? Water weight? Birth Control side effect? Well if that's the case, then I don't to start again. But I want to! I planned to refill the prescription today! But will I gain that weight back again once I start?
See... this is the crap that happens when trying to lose weight. Suddenly, the decisions I'm making {that should be simple} turn into complicated, emotional and stressful decisions. I don't know what to do. I want those 3 pounds to stay away. Damn it!
PS{R4}Update 2.2.2015 Detox Waters
Well, my weekend didn't get any better {as far as food was concerned}. Eating over the weekend got way worse than pizza and chinese food. Geez was I bad. I felt like crap this morning at CrossFit because my stomach was so bloated and I felt heavy. It was kind of miserable.

So today, I'm trying something new. Detox Water & 2 Clean Meals. 
I've read that detox waters help flush your liver of toxins and helps provide nutrients from fruits and veggies that you wouldn't otherwise receive from drinking just plain water. HERE is where I found a few detox water recipes. I'm currently drinking the Fat Flush water, although, I didn't have any grapefruit on hand, so I subbed for lemon. It is taking some getting used to. I can taste the cucumber A LOT. But right now, I'm not a fan of cucumbers because they were so prevalent during my juice cleanse. I'm working past that though. And let's be honest... flavored water is way better than just water.

As for the 2 clean meals... I drank homemade almond milk {so good} for breakfast with a banana. I will probably swap a traditional lunch with a green smoothie today and some veggies, then have a sensible, healthy dinner. I'm trying hard to work the processed foods out of my diet. For the week after my cleanse, I tried really hard NOT to eat processed foods and I felt amazing! 

Long story short -- after the superbowl last night I felt like crap. And this morning I felt like crap. And I'm literally 5 short weeks from running a 10K. At this point, I need my body to feel its best. So not only do I hope to recover from my weekend binge, I hope this will help me continue to lose weight, train hard and feel great!
PS{R4}Update 1.31.2015 I've Been So Good...And then...
All it took was two stressful days. Two very stressful days and a massive headache to send me from perfect food tracking & healthy choices to pizza, chinese takeout and sub sandwiches. Not really weight loss friendly.

I hate stress.

And I'm afraid I'm going to pay for it now. That's why I didn't get on the scale this morning. Even though my WeightWatchers App keeps telling me it's time to track my weight {insert frustrated sad mad face}.

I know there will be days like this. Days when I feel I just can't put the effort into making better choices. Or when I feel so bad and tired that I refuse to go to the gym. But how do I change that? How do I not let stress get the best of me?

I will weigh myself tomorrow and accept whatever damage has been done. And then move on. It is a new week after all, and I have exactly 5 weeks to finish my training before my 10K. It's getting close. Now more than before I need to make the time to focus on me and my health and not let everything else around me get the better of me.
PS{R4}Update 1.27.2015 Juice Cleanse
First things first... two days in a row! Right? I think I may be on a roll...

So all through the month of November & December, my weight stayed the same. No matter how hard I tried, I was stuck at ### (sorry, still not confident enough to post my numbers). This was especially frustrating since I was trying to lose weight for our upcoming cruise. 

The cruise came and went, and still, my weight did nothing but stay completely put, right where it was. But now, I just felt heavy and tired (too much food & relaxing I guess). Workouts became hard and I knew I needed to do something to kick my ass out of this rutt. 'Scuze the language. I follow a couple of fitness/weight loss Instagrams and one had posted about starting the year with a Juice Cleanse. I was intrigued.

3 days... 6-16 oz juices a day, all tailored to rid the body of toxins, jump start your metabolism and aid in digestion. Another side effect was weight loss. I was totally on board with this! There were two companies along the Wasatch Front (Utah, Salt Lake area) that cold-press fresh fruits and veggies. One was Just Organic Juice and the other was Mend Juicery. I choose Just Organic Juice for two reasons (and not because it was cheaper -- cause it wasn't).
  1. It was 45 minutes closer to where I live, since neither delivery to where I live.
  2. They showed on their website what fruit/veggie was in each juice, and what its nutritional value was (i.e. Lemon aids with digestion, Cacao is an anti-inflammatory, etc)
The other company's site has improved immensely since, and now states all this same information, but at the time, I had no idea what I'd be getting. Plus, any reason to avoid driving to Provo.

JOJ, along with its juices, included a pamphlet on what to expect, what order to drink in, and so on. I found this very helpful. Especially when during the cleanse, my husband would tell me I was being extremely mean, I could point to the pamphlet and say... "look. It's a side effect. Deal." Seriously, that happened twice.

They look so colorful and bright and yummy, don't they? I thought so, too, but don't be fooled. Three of the drinks, I rather enjoyed. Which was helpful since the other three I had to choke down. The two green drinks and the beet drink (the bright red) were not my favorite. In fact, you'd find me chasing down each gulp with a small piece of pear or apple, just to get rid of the liquid salad taste in my mouth.

No joke, I tried to eat a cucumber last night. Way too soon. WAY too soon.

But just when I thought I couldn't keep on going, I was done! 3 days went by pretty fast. I event had the (brief) thought that "I could do this again!" This cleanse did exactly what I needed it to do. I lost 5.9 pounds. It's expected that you'll gain a bit back, but I only gained back 0.5 lbs, and have actually already lost that since. My energy improved and my workouts became more... easier isn't the word... but I got more out them. I could go longer and push myself harder.

Another benefit that I've seen from this process is that I eat less. I feel as though I'm able to recognize more when my body is full. So basically, I'm eating less and not missing the additional food. I also crave my fruits and veggies. Like my body was deficient, then it had a surplus and now I'm consciously eating more. 

All in all, I could do this again, and probably will. The benefits far out-weighed the crankiness, the irritability and the craving for a 5 Guys Burger. However, if I were to try it again, I think I would give Mend Juicery a try. Their juices (now that I can see) are similar but have some differences. I'd be interested to see if I liked them better or not.
PS{R4}Update 1.26.2015 It's Been Awhile...Again (Again)
It's been exactly 2 months since my last update. A lot has changed since then. Probably the biggest and most important thing is that Chris is back home, therefore, my universe is back in alignment. Life is not pretty without your spouse, let me just tell you.

We could not have picked a better way to end 2014. We took Brielle on a cruise over Christmas, for Christmas and it was glorious! I still need to blog about it, but it was amazing. So much fun. I had hoped to be at my goal weight by the time this trip rolled around, but I just couldn't get there. But that's okay... I'm still making progress.

I tried my first Juice Cleanse. More on that in another post, but basically, it got my over my hump. My hump being the weight I've been stuck at for 3 months, without budging. Now I'm back on track and losing every week. Which bring me to my stats...

LOOK AT MY STATS! 26.3 pounds lost. This was from my heaviest weight, ever. I've almost reached the halfway mark and I feel fantastic right now. I'm working out harder than ever, I'm making healthier choices when it comes to my food and people are taking notice. I'm getting skinny comments regularly.

I feel good. I'm starting to look good. I couldn't be happier right now! I know I should go into more detail with my journaling, but I really do have a lot to catch up on.
PS{R4}Update 11.26.2014 It's Been Awhile...Again
I'm going through a rough patch. I've lost a little bit more weight, which is good. But I'm kind of depressed about this process. I set out this year to lose 50 pounds. I would have been happy with 30 I think. But 14? That's it?

No one told me this year would be ridiculously hard. No one told me that with my husband gone, mom guilt will set in (making leaving to go work out nearly impossible). No one told me that I'd completely lose my desire to cook for myself. No one told me I'd become re-addicted to soda.

It's a been a shit year. Seriously. Not my favorite. But I refuse to give up. I'm still on WeightWatchers and trying my hardest to remember to track my food/activity every day. I make it to CrossFit about twice a week (clearly not enough).

I'll be honest... I'm hoping things get a bit easier when Chris gets home.
PS{R4}Update 10.8.2014 3 Week Update
It's been a while. Not by choice, however. I'll explain, but first, the good news. I am down another 1.2 lbs since my last weigh-in, which is great. The scale is moving in the right direction, and I'm happy about that. But it's not enough.

I leave on my cruise in exactly 74 days from today. 10 1/2 weeks. By now, the goal was to be about 20 pounds lighter than I am now, which would have been more than 1/2 way to my goal weight and I had re-run a 10K. But I refuse to be disappointed in my progress. And here's why...

Life has been difficult this year. Work is stressful -- so stressful right now. So much work to do, so many meetings, so many problems. I love my job, but it's exhausting. I'm sure the stress of my job is causing my body to hold on to the extra weight. I have a new calling that is requiring additional time from me. No more Sunday-only preparations. My stamina and energy are fading at an alarming rate. And then there's my sweet Brielle. She is entering adolescence and that comes with it's own challenges. I haven't quite been able to manage patience when dealing with the emotional swings.

So, no. I'm not disappointed with my progress. But I also can't stop moving forward. This may sound selfish, but I need to focus on me. I need time to myself. My self confidence is low and I have little to no self-worth right now. I'm just not happy with how I look and how I feel.

So for now, I keep moving forward doing the best that I can.
PS{R4}Update 9.16.2014 Hiking
Late this summer, I took Izzy for a hike and realized... I really like hiking. It's quite, it's beautiful, and it's a really great work out! I'm kind of sad that I didn't figure this out earlier in the summer. I especially love my hiking buddy...

She keeps me in constant motion and {even though she's a dog} she motivates me to keep going. Love, love, LOVE having her along. Now that summer is almost over and the temps are getting cooler, I feel even more motivated to get a few last hikes in before it's too late.
PS{R4}Update 8.29.2014 Weigh In Results PAST & PRESENT
4.6 freaking pounds lost! 4.6! 4.6! 4.6! I've never lost that much weight in one week. EVER! I actually weighed myself 3 times this morning just to be sure that a) my scale wasn't broken or b) that I was dreaming. Now I know my scale isn't broken and that I wasn't dreaming. This was a big victory considering last weeks results...

Last weeks weigh in was full of disappointment. I had gained 2.9 lbs the week I was in Chicago. I know you all saw the really yummy food I ate and posted on Instagram that really isn't diet appropriate, however, I walked everywhere, never had breakfast and lunch was always super light. So I was quite shocked when that was my result. 

So what did I do differently this week? 3 days this week I worked out twice. Stress from work is causing my to eat my emotions and we can't have that right now. So rather than eat and watch TV, I've taken Izzy for a 2.5-3 miles walk/run each morning, and then on 3 of those days, I got in a CrossFit workout after work. Physically and emotionally, I'm completely spent come 7:00 at night, but clearly the effort has paid off. 

Suddenly... I'm super excited to workout over the holiday weekend! Happy Labor Day everyone!
PS{R4}Update 8.15.2014 Weigh In Results
Today I weighed in... down 3.3 lbs since joining WeightWatchers! Wahoo! I have to tell you, that feels SO damn good. Really, I needed the boost today.

I've been horrible at updates. Both her on PS and on my main page. This summer has been insane! I honestly can't wait until my kid goes back to school {I know, totally contrary to what all the other moms are saying about never wanting summer to end}. Me -- I thrive on schedules and consistency. I need it. I long for it.

I know that once Brielle in back in school, meals become easier, working out early becomes easier, dinner time becomes easier. I need easier!
PS{R4}Update 7.31.2014 WeightWatchers
So... that snacking bin I created and put in my fridge to promote healthy snacking for me and Brielle? It totally worked!!!...............until we ran out two weeks ago and I haven't had enough time to restock it.

Seriously, the story of my life right now.

I joined Weight Watchers again. I know I said before that I felt I had a good handle on things, but obviously I don't. Otherwise, I'd be down more than 6.7 pounds in 6 months. I could work out more, but I'm certainly not being lazy. The issues I have are with food.

I looked into several different options before settling back down on WW. A friend of mine and his wife lost a combined 100 pounds on the plan that they are doing. But it includes pre-packaged foods. I'm 100% certain those types of plans are not for me. For one, it only helps me and not my family. Second, how does it help me learn to adjust my food habits long term? 

I also have looked into pills. Never have I wanted to slim down quick more than I do right now. But then I go back to my reasons for not doing pre-packaged meal plans and those reasons aren't any different for not taking weight loss pills.

It's time I go back to what I know worked for me. I lost 24 pounds on Weight Watchers and then quit and fell back into old habits. Not this time. I have a friend doing it with me who will keep me accountable. I'm continuing my CrossFit workouts and looking forward to running a 10K in October. I'm confident that now I will find success. First weigh-in since joining will be on Monday! Stay tuned...
PS{R4}Update 7.8.2014 Snacking
I spent some time yesterday setting aside some healthy snacks for me and Brielle. She's home during the day and will reach for whatever is accessible {healthy or not}. And I'm gone all day, and will also reach for whatever is accessible {healthy or not}. I need to change that.
Now in our fridge, you'll find perfectly portioned snacks to grab when you get the munchies or need some quick protein to make it to the next meal. There is also cut-up watermelon and nectarines in the fridge too.

For Brielle, she has items she can add to her lunch or grab when she needs a snack. For me, I can grab a few things quickly to take with me to work. Win, win? I think so. All it took was 30 minutes after grocery shopping to prep and put it all together.
PS{R4}Update 7.6.2014 One Day At a Time
I took a peek at the scale this morning... with no movement, good or bad. This is frustrating because I really stepped up my workouts last week. In addition to CrossFit, I added 3 walk/runs {currently using the C25K app - Couch to 5K} for a total of 8.31 miles last week. Which also resulted in an additional 1330 calories burned. So what the heck happened? Not to mention, I ate better than normal last week, so I'm a bit stunned by the results. I'm beginning to think I have to look at this one day at a time.

So... here we go. One day at a time.

When I got my PolarFit, I wore it throughout a normal day just to see how many calories I'm burning when I'm not working out. You know, the regular calories I'm burning when I'm just up and awake. It averaged 120-130 per hour. At that rate, I'm burning 1800-1950 calories, being awake for 15 hours per day. I've read that you need to burn an additional 1000 calories per day in order to lose 2 pounds per week {well, that doesn't sound at all hard -- insert sarcasm}. Based on those calculations, my daily goals need to be:
  • Strict Diet of 1300 calories -- limiting sugar, soda & sweets {I said limit}
  • Daily calorie burn of 450 minimum -- through cardio or strength training
One other thing I need to focus on each day is not eating out. With Chris gone, it's inevitable. My life gets so crazy, I turn to what's easy. And not cooking or cleaning up is really easy. It's also  really expensive. But eating out sometimes twice per day doesn't help my goals or aid in my weight loss.

So, I've not broken down the numbers. I know what I need to do each day. Here's to taking things one day at a time.
PS{R4}Update 7.1.2014 Weigh In Results
Up 2.5 lbs. Not good news, but I'm not surprised. After 3 weeks of challenges {see previous post "Struggles"} and then a weekend in SLC with the hubs that included lots of eating out, two movies with popcorn and Sunday Brunch at the Cheesecake Factory... this is not shocking. But it was motivating...
The last two days have gone well as far as exercise and food is concerned. I'm back on track and even more determined to lose weight since I put a deposit down on a Christmas Cruise to the Bahamas. And I don't track my failures like my successes, I'm only in denial... right?
PS{R4}Update 6.27.2014 Struggles
3 weeks ago I was feeling great! I hit a huge milestone with my weight loss and was feeling amazing! And then summer hit. I can't believe what a struggle this has become. For several reasons...

For one, my husband left to go build a home for his brother out in the Uintah Basin. That and the directly heat that consumes my kitchen in the evenings gives me NO motivation to cook -- at all. We've eaten out a lot.Second, Brielle having late nights with her friends makes it extremely challenging to get out of bed early for exercise. Extremely. I haven't stepped on the scale because I fear the damage. Lastly, not having Diet Soda has made me craze sugary treats like never before. Like... I ate a whole package of Sweat-tarts AND Milk Duds on my 45 minutes drive up to girls camp last week. Yes. Both.

I have the motivation... I have the desire. Why do I lack the self control?
PS{R4}Update 6.6.2014 Tiny Miracles
What do you know... it's been another 3 weeks since my last post. But don't worry! I have another, very legitimate excuse. I know, I know, another excuse. Work has seriously been killing me. End of the school year events are going on. Brielle joined a club lacross team. My days are ridiculously full. Even my main page on my blog is suffering.

But I've still been working out. I've still been trying to eat healthy and make healthy choices. And It's still paying off. Two tiny miracles occurred this week that has made me feel really good about where I've come and how hard I've worked.
  1. I on the pants that I bought 3 years ago when I lost 24 lbs. AND THEY FIT! Seriously, I needed that.
  2. I stepped on the scale this morning and I hit a huge milestone. I'm hesitant to post my weight on my blog {to maintain some sort of confidence} but let's just say I broke though a barrier that has depressed me for way to long. A number 2 just changed to a number 1. It's about freaking time.
Now, 10 pounds in 21 weeks just isn't going to work for me. I need to be making more progress than just a 1/2 pound per week. No that work has slowed down a bit, and Brielle is back in CrossFit, I'm hoping to get in more exercise, and have more time to work towards healthy meals.
PS{R4}Update 5.19.2014 I'm Back
It's been 3 weeks since my last confession. And 4 weeks since my last weigh in. I've been plagued with the worst sinus infection of my life and I just returned from the business trip from hell. I haven't worked out and I haven't been tracking my nutrition. All my free time was spent resting and falling further behind on all my wife, mother & employee responsibilities.

After all of this, I was terrified to step on the scale this morning. Today is not a regular weigh-in day for me, but I need to see the damage to help motivate me to get back on track. What?!? I'm down 1.5 lbs?!? Yeah for me, but WTH? When I'm trying... I don't lose weight. When I'm not trying... I lose weight. Whatever.

Here's to being back and feeling much, much better! I'm hoping to make this month a huge success!
PS{R4}Update 4.30.2014 Update
5 days later and I still can't seem to breathe, nor can I walk without feeling a pop behind my knee. Not good. Not helping. I haven't worked out since -- a really good workout -- since a week ago last Monday. We also spent the weekend with friends, at an RSL game, and traveling to Brielle's lacrosse games.

I'm sad to admit, but over the course of Friday, Saturday & Sunday, we ate out a total of 5 times. I'm afraid to step on the scales, as I'm positive this did some serious damage. It's ridiculously hard when your life is pulling you in 10 different directions to plan for healthy eating. When you're always on the go, what do you do? There's not many convenient choices that are diet friendly. I'm afraid that with our upcoming games schedules, this will be my life for the next several months. I'm got to figure something out quick. Otherwise, all my hard work during the week will be for nothing.
PS{R4}Update 4.25.2014 No Weigh In
I didn't weigh in today. I've been fighting another knee injury -- well, same knee injury, still giving me trouble -- and I'm battling a head cold. Basically, when I work out, I'm in pain and can't get enough oxygen. It doesn't work in my favor. And rather than be disappointed with either negative results, or no results, I'm putting off my weigh in for week.

I feel this is fair.

PS{R4}Update 4.22.2014 Calorie Burn
Did you know that mowing my big-arse lawn burns 531 calories? And that's if I don't dump the grass clippings. Sweet!

PS{R4}Update 4.17.2014 Weigh In Results {Early}
Down 0.9 lbs for a total of 6.7 lbs. I was hoping for another 2 lb. loss this week, but I'll take it! Oh, and I got my first compliment since I started Project Skinny. A REALTOR stopped by my office today and said to me "You look so great! What are you doing?" Made my freaking day.
PS{R4}Update 4.11.2014 Weigh In Results
Down 1.7 lbs. Whoo-Hoo! I like where this is headed...

{Post Addition later in the day}
It's amazing how a positive result on the scale can make you feel good and keep you on track. My old way of thinking told me to reward myself for pounds lost...which usually meant some kind of treat. HELLO! Can you say counter productive?

But since stepping on the scale this morning, I've felt such a sense of accomplishment that I haven't felt the need to reward myself with a treat. I ate my 420 calorie Subway sandwich loaded with veggies for lunch {love their nutrition calculator BTW -- wish all restaurants had one} and even reduced my breakfast cereal by 1/2 cup. I knew I could do with less and I did it.

I've even convinced my sick kid to go to her Lacrosse practice tonight -- not to play, but to watch and learn just so I can get in an hour of cardio on the high school track! I'm a horrible mother, I know.
PS{R4}Update 4.8.2014 Polar Fit 4 (Update)
I wore the watch and monitor for 3 hours this morning while at work {see previous post}. I did this to determine how many calories I'm burning while at work and throughout the day. After 3.25 hours, I burned 423 calories. This included driving to work, occasionally walking around, but mostly sitting at my desk. This leads me to the following conclusions:
  • @130 calories and hour, I'm burning {approx}1950 calories per day, not including workouts
  • I'm awake from 7:00 am to 10:00 pm each day
  • If I work out daily, I'm burning an additional 400 calories, putting me at 2350 calories burned
  • Studies show 3500 calories burned = 1 lb of fat lost {500 calories, 7 days a week}
  • If I consume 1400 calories and workout daily, I should lose just shy of 2 lbs per week
This is going to take some serious tracking, diligence and commitment. Let's see if helps push me in the right direction! 
PS{R4}Update 4.8.2014 Polar Fit 4
My Polar Fit 4 Heart Rate Monitor and Calorie Burn Tracker came last Saturday and I love it! It's super comfortable to wear AND it's easy to use. You strap the band around your chest {just below your boobs} and turn the watch on. It does make this weird noise when it's tracking your heart rate, which is slightly annoying while in my quiet office, but I'm trying hard to ignore it.

I'm wearing it all day today because I'm doing an experiment. I want to know who many calories I'm burning while at work, since my job requires me to sit at a desk for a good portion of the day. I know it won't be a lot, but I hope it will help me calculate more accurately my caloric intake vs. calories burned.

Yesterday, I wore the Polar Fit4 only during my 40 minute workout.

Now, initially when looking at my results, I was ticked! I had a great workout yesterday, but the problem was the calories burned. Only 353!!! For 3 months I've been tracking my calories burned with MyFitnessPal and a 45 minute CrossFit workout {according to the app} should have burned 571 calories! That's a difference of over 200 calories! Not in my favor! That's a snack or another small meal! WTH.

Now, I knew that the MyFitnessPal app wasn't entirely accurate -- it is only an estimate. But a better estimate would have been showing 375 or 325. Looking back over the last several weeks, it makes complete sense why my scale has been stuck on the same number. This whole time I was thinking I was burning MORE calories than I actually was, therefore, eating more than I should. This whole time I've been on weight maintenance mode instead of on weight loss mode and I had no idea.

I'm glad I invested in this device. If I'm going to put my faith and trust into something to help me lose weight, I want need it to be as accurate as possible. I will still use the MyFitnessPal app for tracking my caloric intake, as it seems to do pretty well {if you're entering the recipes manually, or eating generic commonly found food items}.

I'm counting on success this week and am actually looking forward to Friday's weigh-in!
PS{R4}Update 4.4.2014 Weigh In Results
Today doesn't feel as good {see 4.3.2014 post}. My body aches everywhere. But I still got myself up and back to CrossFit this morning.

No change in my weight this week. I'm not at all surprised and I'm not too disappointed. I've been off track for over 3 weeks and can't really expect a miracle in only a few days, right?

It's time to talk my biggest nemisis. My worst enemy. FOOD. I've been following a few ladies on FB, Instagram and their blogs. Each one of them has lost over a 100 lbs in roughly a year. Amazing, right? The exercise a lot, run, stregnth train and so on -- nothing I'm not already doing. So what's their secret? They eat crap. Not "crap" as in junk food, "crap" as in food with no flavor. Example = a recently posted lunch entry included a chicken burger pattie {gag} 2 Tbsp of hummus {gag} and a cup of carrot sticks.

My first question, is what the heck did these people grow up eating? Un-seasoned un-flavorful food? Cause that's the only conclusion I can come up with to justify people wanting to eat like that All. The. Time. I on the only hand grew up eating amazing food. Therefore, I'm a food snob. I want flavor. And a lot of it. Hence the reason that food has caused me to weigh ### {a lot}. Food is at the core of my problem and I need to get it under control.

I eat very well for breakfast -- green smoothies, or whole wheat cereal with fruit. Low cal, nurtritous, etc. Lunch -- most days I do okay. I could certainly do better. Dinner comes and I get lazy, and want what's easy and fast so I can relax after a long day. I blow it every time. It makes me feel as though all the work I've done for the entire day was a complete waste of time -- because that's exactly what it was. And I can't blame it on anyone but myself, since I am the food provider and prepper at my house. It's all on me.

I'm convined that this is why I'm in a stall pattern with my weight loss. It's the food. I've been blessed with really good food all my life and am now paying the price for it.
PS{R4}Update 4.3.2014 Yes!
Today was my first day back at CrossFit and it felt--so--good.
PS{R4}Update 4.1.2014 Revised Goals / New Fitness Challenge
4.1 lbs in almost 12 weeks is NOT were I wanted to be. That's not even 1/2 pound per week! Lame and so very disappointing. But I'm not giving up. I can't give up. I can't live the rest of my life like this. I have the desire to be fit and healthy, do all the fun things that fit and healthy people do, and not feel like my weight and overall health is holding me back.

It's clear that I have to make some changes. My weight loss goals are still the same, but I've added a few other goals I want to accomplish this year:
  • Lose 54.9 lbs -- 1.5 lbs/week -- 40 weeks/end of year {based on currents stats}
  • Hike to Wellsville Ridge by end of Summer {8 miles round trip, 2,960 elevation climb}
  • Enter & run my first half marathon by years end {Butch Cassidy or Snow Canyon}

Strength training has proven to be very beneficial for me. But based on my results over the past 12 weeks, it's not enough. I need to become a runner. On average, I was doing CrossFit 3 days per week. I will continue that, but include running {walking to start} 3 days per week as well, resting on Sunday. This will be difficult for me. Running is not something I enjoy, but I have a feeling that it's just because I'm not good at it. Yet.

Another thing that I've talked about in a previous update is that my job is quite sedentary. I sit for a good 6 hours a day at a computer. I rarely have a reason to get up and walk around, unless someone walks through the door or I have to grab something off the printer. My butt is in a chair for a good portion of the day. Because of this, I've challenged my family to month long fitness challenge to get us up and going in the morning and jump start our metabolisms.

This is a combination of single exercise challenges that I've seen floating around Pinterest. Because we'll be doing five exercises total instead of just one, I modified the reps/times. It may seem as though it's starting off a little easy, but it certainly got my heart rate up and sweat trickling down my face. We've decided on individual rewards, picked personally, if we can accomplish the challenge. {Example} I've chosen a spa pedicure with Diet Pepsi. Looks fun {and a little scary -- day 30!} doesn't it?

Food continues to be my absolute biggest and greatest challenge in all this. But I'm going post about that on Friday after my weigh in. Wish me luck! I've included a link to print the challenge if anyone is interested in joining us!
PS{R4}Update 3.27.2014 To Motivate
This is the new {Home Screen} on my phone...

My phone is glued to my hand. Therefore, I'll see it every time I go out for lunch, every time I go to the gym and every time I weigh-in. I hope it will act as a reminder that this is a journey, not a "get rich quick" scheme.

I also bought me one of these today...

It's the PolarFit 4 - a heart rate monitor and {most importantly} a calorie counter. I hope that this will help me determine if my calories burned vs. calories consumed are right where the should be. I'm guessing not, since I haven't been losing weight, but at least {by next week} I will know for sure.
PS{R4}Update 3.26.2014 Update
I didn't weigh myself last Friday. For two reasons...

1) To save myself the disappointment. I don't mean to sound so negative, but since I'm dealing with an injury and couldn't put forth 100%, I didn't want to be depressed when I didn't see results.

2) To also save myself the disappointment. On last weeks "weigh-in" day, I left town for 5 days for work. This meant eating out for every meal and no time for exercise.
My leg is finally starting to feel better. I can fully bend it without hardly any pain at all, just tightness. I should be back at the gym and back on track starting next week. And I'll tell you what... I'm really looking forward to it.
PS{R4}Update 3.19.2014 Get Up & Walk
I pretty much sit all day at work, which is one theory I have about my lack of success. Too much doing nothing! I had an idea that I should get up every hour and walk around my office building. It's not enormous or anything, and only takes 2-3 minutes, but it's something. And I need to be stretching and moving my injured quad muscle anyway. Problem is, lunch time rolls around and I've gotten so busy, I forget to do it.

Another reason I'm thankful for my iPhone...

PS{R4}Update 3.18.2014 Set Backs
This was going to be the week that I got back on track. The past couple of weeks were really, really hard me. Gaining weight when I'm trying to hard to lose, nursing an injury, eating foods I knew I shouldn't, but was so down on myself that I gave in and ate anyway.

Then yesterday, it all came out in one, giant, embarrassing meltdown.

My leg is still bothering me, and taking a ski day with my family over the weekend did not help. But I was determined to get back on track, so I forced myself to CrossFit. Problem was, I couldn't do all the exercises effectively. I wasn't even breaking a sweat, because I also couldn't move very fast, for fear of my leg.

That's when I begun to feel it. And by "it" I mean both physical and emotion pain. My leg started to ache like it hadn't before and my emotions got the best of me. I laid down on the floor to stretch my quad and tears started running down my face. Not from the pain -- I can handle that -- from the disappointment and frustration. I tried my best to hide it, but the trainers noticed and took me over to a physical therapist. Lucky for me, they assumed my tears were the result of the pain in my leg.

The good news is that the pain in my leg will heal. The physical therapist told me I most likely have a tear in my quad, and the muscle has tightened trying to heal itself. He also believes that my IT band in my knee has been strained. He has prescribed frequent stretching and has limited me to riding a bike at the gym everyday for a week. Hopefully after that, I can resume CrossFit, but with limited quad activity.

Tell me something... how do CrossFit without fulling using your quads???

As for emotional stability, I had a good cry afterwards with my amazing husband on the phone. The cold hard fact is that I'm getting older, and this is going to get harder, but it will be worth it in the end. He reminded me that set backs will occur, but he's still behind me supporting me along the way. As long as I have that, I guess I'm golden, right?
PS{R4}Update 3.14.2014 Weigh In Results
Down 0.9 lbs.

I cannot tell you the sense of relief I felt after weighing myself this morning. Since last Friday's weigh-in, I haven't tracked my meals, and I haven't worked out. I'm nursing a leg injury from CrossFit, otherwise I would have continued to "work-out" my frustrations. Honestly, I think that's why I've been so down and depressed this past week.

I feel good today. I feel like I'm back on track. Although I had thoughts of giving up, they are gone now. I received sweet words of encouragement from dear friends and I stumbled upon blogs and stories from people who have accomplished what I have set out to do -- the way I want to do it (a post on that to come). It really was just what I needed to drop my pity party and more forward.
PS{R4}Update 3.12.2014 Time to Talk (Part 2)
Interesting. Literally an hour after I wrote the post below {see my 1st post today} I came across this blog post on Our Best Bites.

Our Best Bites -- Real Life Health & Weight Loss

I needed that. I really, really, did. Because I'll tell you what... having the results I've had lately has never wanted me to give up more. There are two things I took from this article...

1..... Her trainer told her this: "Extraordinary things are on extraordinary because not many people do them. Just be one of the people that does. Finish it." If a woman who loves good food as much as I do can do it, so can I. And I will be a better person for it because I accomplished something extraordinary.

2..... She referenced the blog of someone she knew who inspired her: Joy Journey Paige. And after reading a little bit from this blog, I realized that maybe asking my Heavenly Father for help might just be the extra boost I need. We're taught that we should rely on the Lord when facing trials in our life, right? Well, this is one of mine.
PS{R4}Update 3.12.2014 Time to Talk
It's time to talk about what happened over the past 2 weeks. I can't keep dwelling on it. I have for 4 days now and it has sent me into a depressed, sugar, fat binging abyss. Seriously -- a coke, a movie theater box of SweetTarts, 1/2 lb BBQ Bacon Burger w/Fries. I'm ashamed.

Reality is, I'm just confused. Confused that in those 2 weeks, I put more effort into working out and more effort into eating healthy. All to have the opposite result. Read "Weigh In Results 2.28.2014 and you'll know exactly what I did. This has become really frustrating. Giving up something you love is hard enough, but this just got harder. I've asked myself the question "is this worth it?" many times over the past few days. I can't give an honest answer..... yet. At the current rate I'm going, I would hit my goal in 2 years. That does not give me motivation to continue.

Chris and I have a few frank conversations lately about what to do next. Something is clearly missing from my plan and I'm not quite sure what it is. Do I need to go back to Weight Watchers? Is something wrong with my Thyroid? Is my body reacting to these massive changes? I just don't know. What I do know is that I have to figure it out.
PS{R4}Update 3.7.2014 Weigh In Results
Gained 1.4 lbs. I don't want to talk about it.
PS{R4}Update 2.28.2014 Weigh In Results
I went to be last telling Chris that I was terrified to weigh in the next morning. Then I dreamt that I lost 12 lbs in one week. And then I actually weighed myself to find that I gained 0.3 pounds. GAINED.

Damn. Damn. Damn. DAMN.

I made so many changed this week. I rarely ate out! I hit CrossFit 4 times instead of 3! I ate green smoothies every morning, which meant I was starving by 10 am! I cut out 300 calories from my daily intake! I was so determined not to only lose 1/2 a pound, like I did last week and this is what I have to show for it???

It's days like today that I question this process. Why the hell did I give up soda? Why am I busting my butt working out? It's days like today that I feel like giving up.

And then my sweet husband reminded me that my body might be in shock. That I've lost five pounds already and that my body must be adjusting to the big changes I've made recently. He's great, isn't he? Bringing me emotions back into perspective. He's probably right. I did make some big changes this week, and it was really, really, hard. Guess I'll keep working towards my next weigh in.
PS{R4}Update 2.25.2014 Goal Recap
It's been a little over a month since I started this journey/challenge again. And after last Friday's results (only 0.4 lbs lost), I realized that I needed a recap of my goals. If I forget what I'm working towards, it'll be too easy to slip or get sidetracked. Right? And I believe that may have been my problem last week.

If you look back to yesterday's entry, you'll see that my eating and work out habits were not those of someone trying to lose weight. Hell, they may not even be those of someone trying to maintain their weight. The point is, I lost track of my goals.

Chris asked me this morning what my goals were. Crap! I never really told him! It's just as important to tell him as it is to remind myself... if I want his support. Which I do. So here we go -- a recap -- and I'll even through in a few embarrassing truths about why these goals are so important to me.
  • 59 lbs to lose in 10 months (which amounts to 5-6 lbs per month)
WHY? you ask? Several reasons:
  1. I don't love myself. I'm ashamed by my body.
  2. I am one of 14 people with my same job in the state of Utah. Those people dress like professionals and I do not. Have you ever tried to find dress pants and jackets for a fat person? If you did, you'd know I don't. I want to dress like a professional and I want to be looked at like a professional.
  3. I'm tired of feeling tired after walking up the stairs or doing something strenuous for a short period of time.
  4. I'm jealous of people who run half marathons. In order to not be jealous, I need to be one of them.
  5. We're planning a family vacation over the Christmas break to somewhere tropical. Tropical means spending a good amount of time in a swimsuit. And people my current size just don't do that.
PS{R4}Update 2.21.2014 Weigh In Results
I lost a measly 0.4 lb this week. I can only blame myself for these results. I splurged on a JCW's (Hamburger's and Fries, with fry sauce) this week, I ate out more that usual, I worked out less AND and I didn't track as well. This week has been full of stress and drama. This week is proof that I need to find a way to live regular life under a new healthy lifestyle. Otherwise, I'll rebound quickly.
PS{R4}Update 2.16.2014 Define Confession
Confession: to admit you did something wrong or to talk about something that makes you feel embarrassed or ashamed.

When I was going through Weight Watchers several years back, one of the things that they spoke of frequently was that you shouldn't deprive yourself of the things you love. It was okay to eat/drink an indulgence every once in a while. The idea was to limit those indulgences, control the serving size and to use your best judgement.

So really, I shouldn't have to "confess" that I ate a bacon cheeseburger with fries (and a few bites of a milkshake) while out having lunch with my mom and sister. I didn't do anything wrong and I certainly shouldn't feel embarrassed about it. Eating a combo meal with fries and a soda was something I used to do 3+ times per week! Now, I'm going 2+ weeks between eating those types of foods. That should give me a feeling of accomplishment... not embarrassment or defeat.

For me, I see this as a life long journey and struggle. I would be miserable if I went the rest of my life without the foods that I love. I know I can be healthy and still happy if I just learn to limit those indulgences and focus more on maintaining a consistent exercise program and daily healthy eating. From this point on, there will be no more confessions. There's no need! If after4 weeks, I can say that I've only had french fries twice, I consider this month a success! I think I deserve a reward... like a Blentec. Which I bought myself yesterday. More on that later...
PS{R4}Update 2.14.2014 Weigh In Results
Happy Valentine's Day to me -- I lost another pound! For a total of 4.8 lbs in 4 weeks. I won't allow myself to get discouraged with just one pound, considering the sugar cravings I've been having and the donuts people have been bringing to my office (twice this week-please stop!). But a pound lost, is a pound lost, and the scale continues to move in the right direction.

I follow this guy on Twitter called @ZachGalifinak. He's not the real Zach Galifinakas, but he's ridiculously funny and tweets every single hour. I'm not quite sure when/how he sleeps. Anyway, he posted this tweet this morning and I can't help but agree!

You can get a burger for a buck, fast and easy, but to get a healthy salad you pay $6.00 or MORE! I honestly believe that I'm spending more trying to eat better, than if I just went for what was cheap and convenient. Oh well... there's always a price to be paid when something is worth it, right?
PS{R4}Update 2.10.2014 Sugar Cravings
You would think that after giving up soda 42 days ago (yes, I've kept track) I would have had major sugar cravings on days 1 through at least 10. But I didn't. Like, at all. But right now in days 40, 41 & 42 I can't stop thinking about sugar!

I have a confession to make. Yesterday, when I stopped at Maverick to grab my sick child a Sprite (which I had to beg her to drink to settle her tummy, since she's also valiantly trying to do the "no soda" thing) I grabbed a bag of Chewy Sprees and literally inhaled them in the car on the way home. Chewy Sprees!!! They aren't even that good! Honestly, it would have felt more satisfying just to grab a diet soda.

The consequence? 170 extra calories to my daily intake and a toothache (need to get that dang cavity taken care of).

Since I'm making confessions, I might as well admit the 20 tootsie rolls I ate on Sunday, too. Damn it!
PS{R4}Update 2.7.2014 Weigh In Results/Unintended Sabotage
Good news to report. Despite having had my settings wrong on my tracking app and it having been Superbowl weekend (meaning major food binging), I still lost 1.8 pounds for a total weight loss to date of 3.8 pounds in 3 weeks. I'll be wearing an imaginary gold star on my shirt today.

I'm also finding it important that I have to make my goals known to those around me. This can be difficult because my quest to lose weight isn't something I randomly like to talk about. Even my spouse almost unintentional sabotaged my efforts this past week. My own husband!!!

My work schedule this week has been a nightmare. Working late and working through lunch. I asked Chris to pick me up something quick and bring it to my office on his way to a wrestling tournament yesterday. He showed up with Chick-Fil-A... the sandwich, the fries and a drink. What the h@*%??? I haven't eaten fries in weeks. I'm trying to stick to less than 1200 calories a day. My weigh in was the next day. And he brings me lunch with a combined total of 1040 calories that's fried?!?

He was in a hurry, and this is a lunch I normally would not have had any problem eating 3 weeks ago, but right now, I just can't afford to eat that kind of food if I intend to reach my goals. Lesson learned... if I want support in this journey and don't want to suffer through unintentional sabotage from friends and family, my friends and family must know what I'm doing and know how to help me.

BTW... I still love my husband and he was the first to congratulate me on my recent weight loss. He has been forgiven.
PS{R4}Update 2.6.2014 Tracking
After expressing my frustrations with my CrossFit trainer about working out super hard, with no results, he suggest I download the MyFitnessPal app. For two reason:
  1. He said we are never honest with ourselves about what we eat. We might think it's low in calories, or think we are eating only one portion, but most likely (when you are a love of food, like me) you are not.
  2. He said I needed to better determine the calories I burn during a workout. This will help to insure that I stay within a good caloric range each day, and just burn what I'm over eating, or not burn enough.
So I downloaded the app 3 weeks ago, and after my first weigh-in, had lost 2.1 pounds. Not too bad. But at this rate of loss, I'd hit my goal weight well into 2015. I have a beach vacation to prepare for in 11 months, so this ain't going to cut it.

I was talking to my workout friend about what the app told her was a good daily caloric intake for her goals and she said "1260." Wait, what??? Mine says 1530? This could explain only losing 2.1 lbs in 3 weeks! I checked my app settings. Apparently, if you want to lose 2 lbs per week, you have to actually tell the app that you want to lose 2 lbs per week. Instead, my settings only indicated 1 lb per week. Awesome.

Today is day 2 of tracking under my calorie allotment and this is what I've observed...
  • I'm starving.
  • My head aches, therefore, I'm craving soda like never before.
  • This is super hard!
I know that it will take time to get my body used to less food. I also know that I've got to come up with some higher protein meals so that I feel full, longer. Tracking isn't easy, and it's time consuming, but it was time to get honest about what I was eating and why my results were lacking.

P.S. Tomorrow is my 2nd weigh-in. Yikes!
PS{R4}Update 1.31.2014 Weigh In Results
I'm down 2.1 pounds in 2 weeks. After 2 weeks, I was hoping for double that. However, at least the scaled is headed in the wrong direction.

To leave on a positive, I made it through the month of January with not a drink, nor sip of diet soda, or any other form of soda. This was extremely hard, especially when out with friends who were drinking soda. Chris is still drinking soda, though not as regularly, out of respect I'm sure. Yeah for me!
PS{R4}Update 1.26.2014 Fear of Weigh In
How is that one could be so terrified of a simple scale? Every morning as I shower and get ready for work, I feel as though it's staring at me with evil eyes and I can literally hear it speaking to me in my head (in an evil voice, of course) telling me "don't forget to work out or I'll know." It's creepy, really.

And although my creepy scale was staring me in the face while I was getting ready last Friday, I forgot to weigh in. Ridiculous, I know. But I didn't realize that I'd forgotten until after I ate, and let's face it, you weigh more after you eat (right?) so I didn't want to face the possible disappointment. So I just headed off to work.

I'll be honest, I'm afraid to weigh in. I haven't had soda in almost a whole month, I've limited the amount of sweets I eat AND I've been more careful when it comes to portion sizes. Oh yes, and I've let the trainers at CrossFit completely kick my trash. If I get on that scale and nothing has happened, defeat wouldn't be a strong enough word to describe how I will feel. I will be devastated!

Weigh-in's are scary. Really, really scary. But it can't be avoided when trying to lose weight, now can it?
PS{R4}Update 1.20.2014 Exercising Self Control
My biggest problem, which I've dealt with all my life, is exercising self control. I want what I want, and it's a lack of self control that has allowed me to eat myself up to ### pounds (I'm just not ready to tell ya'll yet). I knew that this would be my first giant hurdle in a really long race.

Diet Soda is something I've struggled with for a long time. It's not something that I drink on an occasional night out, or a treat at the movies. When I drink, I binge drink. I'm talking 32 ounces plus a day. And sometimes I add sugary syrup's to "dirty" it up, making it all the more unhealthy for me. If I were going to learn self control, I knew it started here. And quite frankly, if I really could give up Diet Soda, then I know I have a fighting chance!

So I did it. January 1st, 2014 I drank my last Diet Pepsi at Ruby River Steakhouse. And I haven't had a sip since.

I have a confession to make though... I got my daughter on the same bandwagon. Chris and I promised her $100 bucks if she also stayed away from soda for an entire year. Besides the obvious health benefits for her, this has proved invaluable for me. She's looking to me for support and encouragement, and if I were to fail, I not only fail myself, I fail her as well. It's made not drinking soda that much easier.

I believe that if I can kick the soda habit -- for good -- I can also resist dessert...candy...and other unhealthy foods. If I can go without soda for 19 days (and counting), I can skip the Milk Duds with my popcorn, not order an eclair when I hit Kneaders for lunch, or trade the fries for a side salad. Who would have thought that 19 days without soda could teach a 34 year old overweight woman a little self control? Well, it has, and that little bit of self control has dropped my weight 1.8 pounds! I can only imagine what a lot of self control will do...
PS{R4}Update 1.16.2014 New Year, New Goals, New Me
Well, I've become proof that you can work your arse off to lose a bunch of weight, but the weight will come back if you go back to old habits. Yup, I did that. 3 years ago, I dropped 27 pounds in 6 months. It wasn't my end goal, but life happened and my weight loss goals were quickly forgotten. Today, I'm only 5 pounds lighter than I was when I started, having gained back of total of 22 hard lost pounds.

Defeat is what I've felt for the last several years.

I know it's completely cliche to start a new diet/exercise plan at the beginning of the year, but here we go. Round freaking 4. My 4th attempt to get healthy and fit. The hard way...

Lots of my friends are posting about fad diets they are trying and promoting weight loss pills right now. Boy, would it be easy to jump on that bandwagon. But my problem lies so further than that. I eat when I'm stressed, I'm eat when I'm sad, I eat dessert way more than I should, and I eat too much at one time because frankly, I just love food (good food, I should add). Sure, the quick drop in lbs would be nice, but I know it's not going to help me in the long run.

I need to go back to what I know worked, and back to what I know will help me in the long term. And I have 10 months to do it, for two reasons... 1) I haven't had a family photo taken since Brielle was 2 years old, because of how I look and 2) I'm planning a tropical vacation near the end of the year.

59 lbs --- 10 months --- Eating Healthier (& Less) --- Exercising More 

I need to lose 5-6 pounds per month to reach my goal and I'll post about my journey here along the way. Here's to a healthy, happy 2014!